Naomi Eisenberger, a University of California
neuroscientist, discovered that the feeling of
rejection switches on the same part of the brain as
physical pain. The anterior cingulate receives an
intense boost in activity.
Being rejected from a social conversation, a group,
a team, or job is just as painful, according to your
brain, as being punched in the face.
No wonder it can be so hard to get over a painful
past experience! Sometimes it feels like daggers
going through your body. Literally.
... and this is where the problem lies in getting
over painful experiences/memories. The intensity of
The physical pain you experience can be cured by a
doctor. However, does a doctor actually heal your
No. The doctor helps your body get into a state of
healing so it can heal itself.
The pain you experience from the past is
irreversible. There is nothing you can do about it.
You need to put your mind and body into a state that
allows it to heal itself emotionally.
One way to achieve this is time, but I'm sure you
don't want to waste ten years of your life living in
pain to heal a problem.
Another option is seeing a therapist. Should you
choose a therapist? It's up to you.
All therapy works for different people in different
situations. Even no therapy is therapy because time
itself is therapeutic.
Before you do decide on spending thousands of
dollars on someone who will listen to your problems,
I want you to do this exercise to help you get over
memories that you do not want affecting you.
Putting ourselves in a good mental and emotional
state is necessary for good communication and success
The exercise I'm about to share with you is powerful
because it doesn't change the content of your
experience. Your experience has happened and you
can't change it.
What the exercise does change is the process. The
exercise changes the attributions you make to the
past and future. These are things you can control.
Think of a pleasant experience you have had in the
past or imagine a pleasant experience you would like
See the image.
As you see the image, make it larger. Make the
image bigger, brighter, clearer, and move closer to
As the image changes, notice how you feel.
Take your time as you see the image increase in
size. If you are read this fast, slow down and do the
exercise at a slow speed. You'll discover something
After you've done that, move the image in the
Take your time doing the exercise.
Gradually make the pleasant image smaller, dimer,
unclear, and distant from you.
Again, as the image changes, notice how you feel
Once you've done that little exercise, how did you
feel when the image become brighter and increased in
size? How did you feel when the image become smaller,
dim, and further from you?
Most people experience intense emotions when they
see a bright and large image. On the contrary, they
also experience little emotion when they see a small,
dim, and distant image.
You can probably see how this is playing out for
you in moving on from pain or not letting a past
experience affect you.
If you make unpleasant images large, bright, and up
close, while making pleasant images small, dim, and
distant, you will be an expert at feeling miserable!
People who wallow in their self-pity, people who
are in bad moods, and people who see nothing in life
walk around with BIG and BRIGHT unpleasant images
that are UP CLOSE. They also don't have these BIG and
BRIGHT pleasant images.
On the other hand, if you make pleasant images
large, bright, and up close, while making unpleasant
images small, dim, and distant, you will be an expert
at feeling happy!
This technique is effective because emotional
intensity is linked to memory. That is why we easily
remember our wedding day, a fight we had, or a time
when we were rejected by someone.
The emotions, visual, and auditory memories of
those experiences are intense!
Your unpleasant images are the painful movies
(experiences) you continually play in your mind,
while your pleasant images are whatever you see as
pleasurable to you.
Again, shrink the unpleasant images and see the
images going away from you. Make the pain visually
nothing and they will become nothing.
Next, having constructed your beliefs and defining
clarity for you pleasant image, intensify what you
want. Awaken your inner desire by constantly feeling,
thinking, seeing, and even touching and smelling what
your goal will be like.
The premise of the law of attraction works by
living your present as if it were your desired
future. Whether the law of attraction is true
doesn't matter because acting "as if" attracts the
thoughts and feelings you desire.
You will be able to get over past pain much faster
by shrinking those painful images and intensely
imagining those pleasurable images.
نوشته شده در چهارشنبه یکم اسفند ۱۳۸۶ساعت 9:10 توسط